Saying Yes: The Practice of Inviting People In

Eating is so intimate…When you invite someone to sit at your table, and you want to cook for them, you’re inviting a person into your life – Maya Angelou

This post was not originally on my calendar.  To keep myself motivated and in the habit of writing, I do have a loose calendar of what to write when.  But this week, I’ve waited until the last minute.  It’s Friday morning and, for whatever reason, inspiration and words wouldn’t come.  But I’m learning that sometimes, getting it done is better than being perfect.  I’m trying to keep showing up.

Showing up – sometimes that’s really hard to do.  Especially if, like me, you want the face you present to the world to be “perfect.”  I put that word in quotations because, let’s be honest, perfect is an unachievable ideal that doesn’t really exist.  But I strove for it for a long time.  (A little-known secret:  I was in college before I admitted out loud to myself and others that I wasn’t perfect.  I tried for so long to make sure what others saw was as close to perfection as possible.  Jokes on me – I think everybody else already knew my secret haha).

Just like I’m practicing showing up on the blog, I’m also practicing showing up in life.  I’ve always wanted to be one of those people who regularly had friends and family visiting their house.  Until now, we haven’t had a space big enough to hold too many people at once.  Even if we did, my anxiety and introversion often made it hard for me to show up.  Ever since we moved to Japan, I’ve worked hard to put those things aside, saying yes even when it’s hard.

But I’m still practicing.  This week, I’m hosting girls game night for the second time.  We also had a couple over to our house for Taco Tuesday, a practice we started at the beginning of the year as I strove to be more intentional.  Maybe it’s because these events are at the forefront of my mind, but I’ve been thinking about hospitality a lot lately.  Hundreds, if not thousands, of writers, have written about hospitality.  So, I might as well add a few short thoughts to the chatter that’s already out there.

It’s no secret – it’s hard to open your home to others.  Especially as women, and I’d argue particularly as a stay-at-home woman, I see so much with my house that I’d like to change.  I spend a lot of time here.  I’m well acquainted with our mismatched furniture, chipped dishes, and dust bunnies.  The ever-present pile of writing notes, magazines, and books on the corner of the coffee table taunts me.  There are always dishes to wash, laundry to do, or a floor to vacuum.

But this year I’ve made a practice of being more intentional, saying yes, and inviting people into our home, even when I’m not quite ready.  Just this week, two friends came by to spend a few hours.  With one, I was in the kitchen, prepping vegetables for dinner while she worked from a laptop at the table.  When lunchtime came around, we had leftovers from dinner the night before.  The next day, I chatted with the other friend over coffee.  An AC repairman was working in our living room and I was doing laundry.  Both women are good friends of mine, but I still, sometimes, am a little embarrassed about the state of our lived-in home.  Then I remind myself – it doesn’t have to be perfect.

I never want my house to be the reason I say no to someone coming over.  I might be having an off day and not want company.  Or, maybe I have some errands to run or someone is sick.  I’ll probably say no to visits then.  But I trust those who’ve really come to see me will overlook the dog hair on the floor, the smudges on the counters, the toys littering the living room.  Houses are meant to be lived in, and so far, we’ve done a good job breaking ours in.

I’m so grateful to Husband who has encouraged me on this journey and practice of inviting people in.  No matter his work schedule, he’s always ready to bring someone to our table to share a meal.  He’s not thrown off when I send him a text just before lunchtime, giving him a heads up that so-and-so is over at our house right now.

So, I suppose all this is to encourage you not to wait to bring people into your homes.  Say yes, even if you want to say no.  It doesn’t matter if the floors are dirty, or if the kids refused to get dressed this morning.  Bringing people into the mix and the mess of real life is so important, especially if you’re experiencing the challenge of relocating every few years.  Tonight, I’m saying yes to game night, and I’m forgetting about those piles on the coffee table.  Tonight, I’m practicing inviting people in.

I’d like to hear from you – do you find it challenging to invite people into your home?  Do you have a regular practice of inviting people in?  Leave me a comment!