“Moment by moment, we have the opportunity to say yes, to move into our lives and open ourselves to the adventure – but that doesn’t mean that we ever really know where we’re going or that we can predict what we’ll find when we get there. If we’re lucky, though, the life we end up leading is one that makes us feel alive.” – Katrina Kenison, The Gift of an Ordinary Day
For the first time this year, I decided to try out a “word of the year.” This is a concept I’ve seen practiced by many of the authors and bloggers I follow. I was in search of some basic criteria for choosing my word, and Google led me to the My One Word website. The website lays out some basic things to consider when choosing your word. With some quiet time and something to write with, you should:
- Determine the kind of person you want to become
- Identify the characteristics of that person
- Pick a word
In late January I sat with these questions. I sat in silence with some coffee and made two pages of notes. In looking back over the last year, there were a few things I knew I didn’t want to repeat:
The long absence of my husband due to a deployment.
Stress at work that I never could have prepared for (that ultimately lead to some less-than-fun health problems).
The challenge of finding my place in a new community.
A deep sense of fear in the unknown and unfamiliar.
But there were some things I did want more of:
Genuine connection with other people, both at work and (eventually) in my personal life.
Time to celebrate and enjoy my husband.
Creating colorful, healthy meals for my family and friends.
Time spent reflecting, writing, and appreciating the writings of others.
With all these things in mind I came up with a word, a word I hoped would bring some focus and light into 2018 after a year of unknowns. I decided on the word aware.
But after sitting with my word in real life for a week or so, I realized it wasn’t right. The word aware sounded too defensive, too much like I felt for the last year. It felt uncertain, on guard, and distrustful. So, I brought out my journal and sat again, determined to find a better fit. After a few days of contemplation, I landed on presence and the idea of being present.
Presence and awareness are similar words, but presence is softer, more forgiving. Presence gives the gift of grace, allowing space to simply exist. Awareness asks me to know something about my current situation, whatever that may be.
The drastic geographical change Husband and I have undergone over the last few months has helped me practice being present. Life is no longer as we knew it; each day brings new and unexpected experiences. Lifestyle changes, like how we’re currently living without a car, forces me to slow down, to take in my surroundings, to see and appreciate the things in my field of view.
I’ve been forced to slow down. All tasks here take longer – grocery shopping, eating out, getting around the base and town. Each outing requires my full concentration and daily living has become a practice of presence. I must be fully focused on what I’m doing, whether it’s counting money to pay for a purchase, or listening for the few Japanese words I know so I can pick a response (also from a limited group of phrases).
Before we left our last station, I made a purchase to remind me to be present daily – a Pure Vida wave ring. The connection between the two started as a loose one, probably made in part because I wanted an excuse to buy the ring. Initially, this small piece of jewelry prompted me to stop often and soak in the experience of life, much as one might sit on the beach and observe the waves, watch as the light dances across the water.
Looking at life through the lens of the Christian faith, the ring also reminds me of the parable of Jesus walking on water. In Matthew 14, verses 22 through 34, Jesus famously saves Peter from drowning after the disciple tries to walk on water to meet Jesus on the lake. All’s going well until Peter takes his eyes from Jesus. My Type A, anxiety prone personality makes me a lot like Peter. I try (and often I want to) do it all myself. But I need Jesus to keep me from drowning. Cheesy as it sounds, my little wave ring has helped me to remember how small I am in this world, and how desperately I need saving.
What weight do you need to get rid of today? How can you practice presence in your daily life? Don’t be afraid to let go of those things in life that are no longer serving you. It could be something as simple as the wrong word of the year, or it could be your job or a piece of your routine that once worked but now takes more energy that it should. Trust yourself. Acknowledge each experience and the emotions it brings. And know that you’re never alone.
Want your own little wave ring? Check it out here. Or poke around a bit and find something else you love! This isn’t an affiliate link and I don’t receive anything for recommending Pura Vida or their products (other than the satisfaction of sharing something with you that makes me happy). All opinions of the product and the company are my own.