Grace + Grit: The Joy + Challenge of Leaving My Comfort Zone

As you move outside of your comfort zone, what was once the unknown and frightening becomes your new normal – Robin Sharma

It’s 2007, and I’m 20 years old. I’m riding a charter bus with thirty of my not-yet-closest friends, heading south. Today, I’m on my way to Ireland, embarking on my first international adventure.

According to the green cloth journal chronicling that adventure, I prepared for this trip for over a year. I remember waiting tables, painstakingly saving up to achieve a dream. I’d always wanted to travel, but until this point, I hadn’t had the means or the courage.

Despite all the planning and looking forward to, the third sentence in my journal reads, “Part of me wishes that it would hurry up and be over; it’s almost an inconvenience in my summer plans.” My comfort zone, and the expected and known season of summer, had a hold on me.

Stepping Out of My Comfort Zone

Although I didn’t write it down explicitly, I know I was nervous about the trip. I was choosing to walk into a world full of unknowns. I was at the whim of my trip leaders and accompanied by classmates I hardly knew. My introverted self knew I had a reason to be a bit nervous.

Marriage is one of the best teachers I’ve had in learning to leave my comfort zone. In the four years of our marriage, one thing’s become abundantly clear – I like my routines. I like knowing what to expect during my day and having control over how I spend my time. I work to mitigate surprise schedule changes, and I strive to be prepared.

But – surprise, surprise – things don’t always work out my way, no matter how much I try and plan. As a military spouse, our family routine (and my comfortable life) is continually changing. I literally move out of my comfort zone every time we move to a new station, or any time there’s a family event with our unit (I’m an introvert, remember?). Not to mention the challenges that come when Husband is away. Although not my favorite way to practice stepping out, there’s something to be said for trial by fire.

Even when I choose to travel, an activity that, by its very nature, is meant to put me out of my expected and comfortable, I lean into comfort. I choose hotels or AirBnB’s with specific amenities (like a private bathroom). I eat at restaurants with dishes I know and like.

I’m willing to step out in faith and leave my comfortable routines behind. But, in truth, having a say in where I’m going certainly makes it easier.

Grace + Grit

While I’m learning to navigate life outside my comfort zone, I’m also beginning to recognize the hesitation to take that first step usually stems from fear. As I get older, more situations arise where the choice to leave my comfort zone isn’t mine – sometimes, it’s a choice made for me.

I know I have not been called to live a life of fear. The more I step out, away from the known and expected, the more I find within myself both grace and grit.

Grace comes alongside me, giving me permission to try something and fail and to experience growing pains and learn as I go. Grace offers comfort when times are hard and things don’t work out as we planned or hoped. Showing up in the small, mundane moments, grace regularly points me towards my best self in subtle and quiet ways. She is a teacher, offering lessons and encouragement as I walk through life.

Grit shows up when I need it most, pushing me forward in courage and faith when I feel like I can’t keep going. It shows up in times of prolonged hardship, like deployments or making new friends after a move. Grit hangs out on mountainsides – I found it while hiking Mt. Fuji, wishing I could call it quits early, but knowing full well the only way out is through. Grit is in missed connections at airports and often looks like pulling up your big girl pants and soldiering on despite the hardship.

Grace and grit show up and work together; it’s not often you’ll find one without the other. But unless I’m paying attention, I often miss them both. I notice their subtle silhouettes only when I’m reflecting on an experience. Stepping out usually leads to struggle, but I take comfort knowing grace and grit have my back.

Leaving what’s comfortable and expected, by choice or otherwise, comes with consequences. I frequently find myself amid joy, laughter, growth, and learning. But I also face loneliness, fear, doubt, and anxiety. No matter what emotions I’m experiencing, it’s in the stepping out that God meets me.

After all, leaving our comfort zone, and stepping out in faith, is a necessary act in becoming who we’ve been made to be.

Finding Magic in Myself

My trip to Ireland in 2007 included a lot of firsts. It was my first international trip and my first time on an airplane. That trip, at three weeks, was the longest consecutive amount of time I’d been away from home. The thirty-two people I traveled with I knew only superficially, having had no other classes with them.

It was also my first step into a life of travel – a life I always wanted to lead but secretly thought was only for other people. Only when I stepped out of my comfort zone and overcame those initial fears, could I find wonder and awe and magic. I described my first plane ride in my journal:

“I’m glued to this window. I don’t want to take my eyes off of it for fear I will miss something beautiful.”

“We’re flying through a cloud. It’s like a wall of white. You can’t see anything. Like a clean, unbroken blanket of snow.”

“Pastureland. Green and brown shades of land. It’s just like I imagined. Mountains, maybe, in the distance; or perhaps just clouds. Gray clouds now. Fluffy and large and airy. It’s beautiful. The land is beautiful.”

I noticed nuances in clouds and saw the division of land from above. Coming home, I mistook vast sheets of ice near Canada for clouds. I had never seen ice cover such a vast expanse. And, on a fundamental level, the way I viewed the world started to shift. Surrounding myself in another culture, being in conversation with people different than me, led me to begin to see the world more clearly.

Had I chosen to stay put in the comfortable and expected, I would have missed all the wonder and magic of that trip and every trip since. While I’m still no expert on leaving my comfort zone, I’m practicing, step by step. I know struggles will be there to meet me, but I also know grace and grit have my back. I hope you’ll step out and walk with me, trusting grace and grit will also find you.

Feeling anxious about leaving your comfort zone?

In difficult times, I’ve found it helpful to borrow the prayers of others. I’ve put some of my regularly recalled prayers on some notecards that I’d like to share with you. Simply click on the banner above or the link below and I’ll send you a downloadable PDF of some of my favorite borrowed prayers.

Prayer Cards for Anxious Times