Day 1 of 1,095 – How We Met

Falling in love with you was easy / You were always meant to have my heart / I was broken all to pieces / You were there to be the missing part. – JJ Heller, “Until You Came Along”

It’s our third wedding anniversary.  It feels both like we’ve just met, and like we’ve been together a lifetime.  I suppose that’s how all good love stories are – both/and instead of either/or.  Our wedding day was amazing, and while I intend to share a bit about the day, that’s for another time.  Today, in honor of the 1,095 days Husband and I have had together, I wanted to share a bit about the day that started it all.  So, here is the first part of our love story – how we met.

Setting the Stage

I grew up in a small city in Southwest Virginia.  My parents’ house on the outskirts of town sits at the end of a gravel drive, a quarter mile uphill.  I remember in my teens, talking with my dad and matter-of-factly stating that I wish we lived somewhere else.  “What boy is going to drive all this way to take me out?”  He assured me the right boy would.  Throughout the years, a few boys made the drive, but for whatever reason, they didn’t stick around.  Little did I know that one boy, THE boy, would drive more than 3 hours to come up that driveway.

I was in my late 20s, living a few miles from my parents’ and working at a small nonprofit.  For as long as I can remember, I wanted to travel, to live somewhere new and see what the world had to offer.  Just after college, I had a goal of being able to fit everything I owned into my car (spoiler alert: I failed!).  But here I was, now almost 5 years out of college and still in my hometown.  I resigned myself to the fact that I wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon.  It was time to be content with my current place in life.  I had big dreams of seeing new places and moving around, but I was too afraid to make the leap alone.  Instead, I wanted a partner, a person to see and do all the things with me.

I was never a very good dater.  Usually, I could only see one person at a time.  It was hard to keep up with who had a dog, who was a banker, and who didn’t eat cheese.  I didn’t like going on dates with different people every night.  Since I hadn’t had much luck randomly bumping into “the one” in the grocery store line like they do in the movies, I had begrudgingly signed up for online dating.  I tried different services, paid and free, off and on for about three years.

Online, I’d respond to just about anyone that started a conversation with something other than “hey” or “sup”.  A few of these conversations even led to dates.  In early 2014, I met a guy.  We started dating, and I thought maybe he was the one I had been waiting for.  I held on despite some red flags and the gnawing feeling that something wasn’t quite right.  In the end, just after New Year’s 2015, I came to terms with the fact that the guy I was seeing just wasn’t the one.  We had a semi-messy split in February.  Back to the drawing board.

I had a great community in my hometown, but I had always wanted to see more of the world.  This desire was such a big part of who I was, and I thought (and hoped) the man who was to be my husband would be this way too.  As I got older, I strongly felt “the guy” wouldn’t be found in my hometown.  So I signed up for online dating and left my geographic preference pretty wide open.

Single and Ready to Mingle…Sort of

Not long after I split with Mr. Not-So-Right, I was writing in my journal about the conundrum of wanting to travel and meet someone.  “If I’m never still how will I find him?  If I stay still, will he want to go?”  I already knew it was too much for me to relocate and find a new community alone.  So, I resolved to stay put and invest in my current community.  I figured day trips and weekend trips would be enough to satisfy me.  And if I met someone who also wanted to go and see, I’d be ok with that.

I had reactivated my online dating accounts hoping to meet some interesting people.  I wanted to keep myself open for whatever (or whoever) God had for me.  I wasn’t passively sitting by but I also wasn’t actively seeking.  Husband and I met online via OkCupid in mid-March (yep, he was a rebound guy).  He sent me a message and I realized he hadn’t come up in my “you might match” list.  Unlike most of the other messages I received, his was a full sentence.  AND it related to something I had mentioned on my profile.  Referencing a personal challenge I had undertaken the year before to read 52 books in a year, he asked, “So I must ask, what books did you read on your challenge”?  Immediately I was intrigued.

We talked for a few days using the OkCupid messaging system before exchanging phone numbers.  Two weeks after that first message, we planned to meet for a date.

How We Actually Met – a.k.a. Date Day…

(Not yet) Husband was nice enough to travel 3+ hours to meet me.  I was wary of traveling so far alone, and a few red flags in my last relationship made me want to stay close to home.  I recommended a hotel with a nice view of the city, and within easy reach of where we planned to have dinner.  The restaurant we planned to eat at was a small, local place and one I was very comfortable in.  The location also gave us some good options for walking around, should things go well.

He arrived at the restaurant before I did, and waited outside for me.  He had let me know in advance the parking lot for the building was full, so I parked across the street.  This gave me a chance to see him from a distance long before he saw me.  I’ll never forget how I felt as I walked down the sidewalk toward him.  It was as if this wasn’t our first meeting.  Even from afar he seemed comfortable and familiar.  It was as if I’d known him before.  All my nerves from the past few days melted away and I remember thinking “Oh, it’s you.  Just as I expected.”

Not long after we were seated inside, his phone rang.  Seeing it was his mom, he answered.  She had called to see what he was up to for the weekend.  Turns out, he hadn’t told her he was traveling for a date.  Naturally, she was curious about me and how things were going.  Rather than answer her questions, he decided to cut out the middle man and put me on the phone with her!  As I reached out to take the phone, I remember thinking “This is like something out of a movie”.  We had a lovely time at dinner.  Much later, Husband told me he was impressed by my order – a beer, a burger, fries, and a side of ranch.  Apparently, he likes a girl who isn’t afraid to eat (Hallejuah – I love food)!

After dinner we walked around the nearby downtown area, chatting about our lives.  He took my hand as we walked out of the restaurant and it felt like the most natural thing in the world.  Eventually, we ended up back at his hotel, which had a great overlook of the city from its perch atop a hill.  Don’t worry, there was no funny business!  We parted ways, agreeing to meet in the morning for breakfast.

…and the Day After

We met early the next morning and went back into town for coffee at a local shop.  We stopped by the grocery store for breakfast foods, planning to go back to my apartment to cook.  Saturday flew by.  We spent most of the day in the apartment, continuing our talks from the night before and watching movies.  Before we met, I had chatted with a few other guys in the military, but overall I had very little first-hand experience.  I had a lot of questions about how it all worked.

Before he left to head back down south, we ventured out to a pizza place for an early dinner.  It was here that our conversation took a little turn and got really honest.  We talked about our families and our hopes for the future.  I asked some hard questions about deployment and military life, feeling the weight of a military relationship quite keenly.  I knew instinctively it wasn’t for the faint of heart.  (Funny aside – I wrote in my journal a few days before we met, “I can’t move jobs, move states, every time he does.”  HA!  Little did I know…)

Husband never shied away from my questions and answered as honestly as he could.  I greatly appreciated our frank discussion.  I didn’t want to play games, and for some reason, our interaction already felt different.  Interestingly, he kept repeating phrases that I had recently been saying to myself and praying about.  It was as if I was hearing me talk to myself.

Sending him home that Saturday evening was hard.  It surprised me that I already missed his presence.  After our frank conversation over pizza, I had a good sense about Husband and his character.  I thought we could get married, even after just one date.  I appreciated the way he respected me and my time – it was clear he also wasn’t playing games.  We both sensed we had something good but agreed to take some time and pray over things before pursuing each other.

The Rest is History

In the days that followed, Husband and I continued to chat over text multiple times a day.  We met again a few weeks later, this time at a halfway point.  We both agreed there was a spark, and we decided to see each other exclusively.  Our dating period was short – Husband proposed after just 6 months of dating.  Those 6 months were full of laughter, learning, and a lot of driving!

Our love story is one of my favorites.  Looking back, it’s easy to see why God placed certain desires in my heart.  He knew Husband and I would be together and what kind of life we would lead.  I am honored to walk beside Husband and call him mine.  I can’t wait to write the rest of our story.

What about you?  How did you meet your spouse?  Help Husband and I celebrate three years together – leave a comment telling us a bit about your love story!

P.S. – In case you’re curious, our engagement photos were taken by Amber Perdue Photography.  If you’re in Southwest VA, we highly recommend you check her out!